happy birthday kate!!

check out those arms!! :)

make me stay

lyrics by Ani DiFranco

i'm gonna turn
and walk away
you can wait
till i am far along
then run and come
and catch my arm
and say you'd die
if i were gone
i want to hear you
call my name
it's too easy
just to say it soft
i don't like my language
watered down
i don't like my edges
rounded off

i can't always wait
for your circumstance to improve
love is loose it
shifts each time you move
go ahead, put my back
against the wall
give it all up
or don't give it to me at all
you never know this could be
our last night
so step back
step back into the light
so i can see your silhouette
i'm not done looking yet

save the profile for the camera
give me your eye to eye
i know all your secrets
and you know all of mine
mostly i don't go
for the soft focus and the fantasy
i need something real
i can think
and say and see so

i'm going to turn
and walk away
you wait till i am far along
then run and come
and catch my arm
and say you'd die
if i were gone
yes i'm going to turn
and walk away
you can watch me go
or you can make me stay

kiss that counted

Kiss That Counted
by Catie Curtis

I saw it coming like summer rain
Incoming ocean, oncoming train
I veered in circles to get off your path
I tried to warn you

That this would be the kiss that counted
The one that mattered
My life before me undone
This would be the kiss that counted
The one that shattered my defenses
Bringing me emotion

I shut my windows and my eyes
I put on my headphones
And I stayed inside
But all these love songs
pouring through my veins
Carried you to me

This would be the kiss that counted
The one that mattered
My life before me undone
This would be the kiss that counted
The one that shattered my defenses
Bringing me emotion

You say, "It must be 4 AM"
And I say, "If I don't kiss you now
I will never sleep again"

Yours was the kiss that counted
The one that mattered
My life before me undone
This would be the kiss that counted
The one that shattered my defenses
Bringing me emotion and devotion

still a little bit of your taste in my mouth

still a little bit of your taste in my mouth

still a little bit of you laced with my doubt

still a little hard to say what's going on
still a little bit of your ghost, your witness

still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed

you step a little closer each day

still I can’t say what's going on

stones taught me to fly

love taught me to lie

life taught me to die

so it's not hard to fall

when you float like a cannonball

still a little bit of your song in my ear

still a little bit of your words I long to hear

you step a little closer to me

so close that I can't see what's going on

stones taught me to fly

love, it taught me to cry

so come on courage

teach me to be shy

'cause it's not hard to fall

and I don't wanna scare her

it's not hard to fall

and I don't wanna lose

it's not hard to grow

when you know that you just don't know

cannonball by damien rice

light of some kind

how i met ani:
she was reading a poem in russell simon's def poetry slam on tv one night and her wild hair caught my attention, it was the type of hair my friend once told me she liked so i figured i'd check her out. yes it was because of her poem but also in part because i thought maybe this would be someone my friend would be into. i looked her up the next day, bought her first cd and since then i've been a big fan.
it was fate :)

[fyi: one of kate's favorite concert is ani's]

the title of my blog is from a song of hers, the lyrics below:

light of some kind by Ani DiFranco

i wish i didn't have this nervous laugh
i wish i didn't say half the stuff i say
i wish i could just learn to cover my tracks
i guess i'm not concerned about getting away

'cause every time i try to hold my tongue
it slips like a fish from a line
they say if you want to play
you should learn how to play dumb
i guess i can't bring myself to waste your time

'cause we both know what i've been doing
i've been intentionally bad at lying
you're the only boy i ever let see through me
and i hope you believe me when i say i'm trying
and i hope i never improve my game
yeah i'd rather have these things weighing on my mind
and at the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame
there must be a light of some kind
there must be a light of some kind

i must have blown a fuse or something
cause it was so dark in my mind
she came up to me with the sweetest face
and she was holding a light of some kind
and i still think of you as my boyfriend
i don't think this is the end of the world
but i think maybe you should follow my example
and go meet yourself a really nice girl

'cause we both know. . .

in the end the world comes down to just a few people
but for you it comes down to one
but no one ever asked me if i thought i could be
everything to someone
there's a crowd of people harbored in every person
there are so many roles that we play
and you've decided to love me for eternity
i'm still deciding who i want to be today

cause we both know. . .

love is everything

Maybe it was to learn how to love
Maybe it was to learn how to leave
Maybe it was for the games we played
Maybe it was to learn how to choose
Maybe it was to learn how to lose
Maybe it was for the love we made

Love is everything they said it would be
Love made sweet and sad the same
But love forgot to make me too blind to see
You're chickening out aren't you?
You're bangin' on the beach like an old tin drum
I cant wait 'til you make
The whole kingdom come
So I'm leaving

Maybe it was to learn how to fight
Maybe it was for the lesson in pride
Maybe it was the cowboys' ways
Maybe it was to learn not to lie
Maybe it was to learn how to cry
Maybe it was for the love we made

Love is everything they said it would be
Love did not hold back the reins
But love forgot to make me too blind to see
You're chickening out aren't you?
You're bangin' on the beach like an old tin drum
I cant wait 'til you make
The whole kingdom come
So I'm leaving

First he turns to you
Then he turns to her
So you try to hurt him back
But it breaks your body down
So you try to love bigger
Bigger still
But it...it's too late

So take a lesson from the strangeness you feel
And know you'll never be the same
And find it in your heart to kneel down and say
I gave my love didn't I?
And I gave it big...sometimes
And I gave it in my own sweet time
I'm just leaving

Love is everything...


by: K.D. Lang

she gives me fever

the small intimate theatre was located in greenwich (east) village.

the play was a 2-character monologue and the first to come out was the actor playing a journalist. after his scene kate came out. she did all of her monologue right across from me. i had great seats!! she played with a hillbilly accent.
[i think we made eye contact a few times ;)]

i am not kidding when i say that i started to get hot shortly after she came out. my hands were burning. i started stripping- took of my jean jacket-it was strange. i wanted to touch something cold because my hands especially were burning!!

she did an amazing job. i got a whole new perspective on the controversy behind the events. i will not go into details about the play because i suck at summarizing and have a bad memory -damn i wish i would have taken notes immediately after the play!!!- but i liked the writing and the actors.

afterwards, i asked my friend if she felt the room temperature had gotten warmer. she said no. i explained my symptoms and she said those sound like when you are getting a fever. hence my conclusion, she gave me fever!!! ;)

i waited amidst 20 or so other fans. i really didn't expect her to exit where we were standing and they had already locked the theatre doors but yes as luck would have it, she exited right in front of us. i was standing next to her, on her left but people to her right got her attention first. shortly after she turned around to me and said "hi, how are you?" i don't know what i responded!!!! i'm sure i said, "fine and you?" i know i didn't say anything in regards to 'you are an amazing actress! i flew all the way from chicago to see your play!!'
oh well. i'm too shy in these situations plus it's surreal seeing someone in person who you have been crushing on for a few years.

meanwhile, i had my friend taking pictures - or so i thought-after getting kate's autograph she told me my camera wouldn't function. i took it and confirmed it - i couldn't believe my Nikon SLR camera wouldn't take a pic - finally i was able to get it to work and these are the pics i managed to take.
kate said she couldn't photograph with people, that she normally does, but she has to be somewhere. she was apologetic. and once she finished she walked down Bleeker street with the actor and some other guy. I was tempted to follow discreetly out of curiosity but
of course i didn't!!


what a lovely way to burn ;)

how to live in the present when no one else is there

"how to live in the present when no one else is there at the same time, nobody catches up with you, is there to answer? the present is made by the pleasure of collisions of two uncelestial bodies in uncelestial fusions."

anais ninn

in her latest interview she said that she doesn't travel a lot but she has been to many places in mexico and loves it. a woman after my own heart ;)

both hands

(beautiful lyrics by Ani Difranco :)

i am walking
out in the rain
and i am listening to the low moan
of the dial tone again
and i am getting
nowhere with you
and i can't let it go
and i can't get through...

the old woman behind the pink curtains
and the closed door
on the first floor
she's listening through the air shaft
to see how long our swan song can last

and both hands
now use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
i am writing
graffiti on your body
i am drawing the story of
how hard we tried

i am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life,
and the rest of it all
and your bones have been my bedframe
and your flesh has been my pillow
i am waiting for sleep
to offer up the deed
with both hands

in each other's shadows we grew less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all
and i'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall
and when we leave the landlord will come
and paint over it all

and i am walking
out in the rain
and i am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
and i am getting nowhere with you
and i can't let it go
and i can't get through

so now use both hands
please use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
i am writing graffiti on your body
i am drawing the story of how hard we tried
hard we tried
how hard we tried

i have a date with kate

I can't believe that on April 15 8pm I will be 4 rows away from Kate!!! :) I bought the tickets and will be heading to New York. I am so excited. I'm making my list of places to visit [empire state building-who will i run into ;) /go see the statue of liberty/stroll central park/frozen hot chocolate dessert in the restaurant Serendipity.
[ser·en·dip·i·ty: an aptitude for making fortunate discoveries accidentally.] did anyone see that film? it's cute. and whatever other places i can fit in. i will have 3 days, not a lot of time but i know it's a city that i will probably visit again. i'm so excited to get away and discover another place. i usually try to take 1 trip per year and last year i didn't. Canada is my next trip!

brief description of play i got from an article:
In the meantime, the 29-year-old Philadelphia native has relocated to New York City and is preparing to make her Off Broadway debut in Guardians, a two-character monologue play inspired by controversial events of the Iraq War. Opening at The Culture Project on April 11, Guardians finds her in a role loosely based on disgraced U.S. soldier Lynndie England, who made headlines for participating in the Abu Ghraib prison-torture scandal.

definitely looks interesting.

no men allowed ;)